royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

circumcisions:

im so naturally funny because my life is a joke

whorville:

Happy has five letters
Pizza has five letters

This is no coincidence

talaem:

“don’t be shy” thanks u cured me

I have more conversations in my head than in real life

(Source: hopelessbaka)